Al Gore: "Yo lo tengo, bitches."

So, in case you haven't heard, Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah, there was some other group in there, but no one cares, because: Al Gore. Won. The Nobel Peace Prize.

The decision will not only stop global warming dead in its tracks, but also cause all Hummers--and their wasteful, fat-cat owners--to spontaneously combust and turn all non-Hummers into hybrids.

Now, a rundown of past and future Peace Prize milestones:
2005: Bono nominated for AIDS/HIV work.
2007: Gore and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) tie for their work on global warming education.
2009: Kanye wins it all for his insights into the gold-digger epidemic.

The real question, though, is this: How much more smug can Gore possibly store in his overly swolen body before it, too, spontaneously combusts?